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The Most Horrible Boss Ever – Maybe

by | Sep 12, 2024 | Leadership

Return to Office Benefits

Never Going to Allow Work from Home? You Need to Offer More

“I want to hold (staff) captive all day long.” Sounds like a horrible boss, right?

When I read that quote from Chris Ellison, I figured he must be a miserable person to work for.

However, as I read more, I realized that the Australian mining magnate has some things right. CEOs who force employees into the office must offer a lot more than coffee, doughnuts and the occasional pizza.

The Future of Work Is … Glued to the Office?

Ellison is sure that his staff “loved working” in its facilities, which are designed to keep “them glued” there, according to Mining.com. The managing director of Mineral Resources doesn’t even want employees to walk down the street for a cup of coffee.

His comments went viral, getting picked up by news sites all over the world.

Yecch. Who could begrudge their workforce a walk for coffee? Particularly in a work-from-home world? As far as keeping staff “captive,” well, I’m pretty sure slavery has been outlawed.

And I find his claim that remote employees work three days a week for five days of pay untenable. Research dating back to at least 2014 – in Harvard Business Review, no less – concludes that remote workers are more productive.

Other studies show mixed results. But remote work saves bundles of money on real estate, office infrastructure, utilities, internet and commuting. Those costs more than make up for any slight loss in productivity.

And how does Ellison know his staff “loves” his no-work-from-home-ever policy? Has he asked each one? Does he have daily interactions, or does he sit in his mansion’s office while making his staff suffer daily commutes? Does he really know what his workers want?

So many bosses think they’re offering employees fantastic incentives to come into the office. But doughnuts and coffee in the morning, taco Tuesday and pizza Thursday don’t make up for the expense and hassle of commuting.

I’m sure these CEOs would get an earful if they anonymously surveyed their workers.

Maybe He’s Not Such a Bad Boss?

Still, I was impressed by what Mineral Resources offers its employees. Maybe he’s not such a horrible boss, after all.

The company’s Perth headquarters includes a daycare center, a café, restaurant, gym, creche, reflection room and wellness center, complete with psychologists. (Reports don’t indicate whether Ellison allows his staff time off to talk with said psychologists – or punishes them if they do.)

And the daycare center charges just 20 Australian dollars a day, compared to 180 charged elsewhere.

“Drop their little tykes off next door,” Ellison told Mining.com. “We have doctors on board and nurses who are going to feed them, but mum and dad will be working in our office.”

Offering daycare at 11% the going rate certainly is a lure. And if Ellison lets parents of whatever sex have lunch with their children, that’s fantastic. That and onsite doctors for medical care could make up a bit for the lack of flexible working arrangements.

Let’s say employees actually get to access these wonderful benefits. If so, Mineral Resources has taken a lot of the burden off employees who commute. They might actually prefer returning to the office over remote work or hybrid options.

Bosses Who Need Entertainment Need to Get Over Themselves

Frankly, I think a lot of CEOs who oppose remote work simply need to be entertained by their employees. Or, as Garry Linnell at The North West Star of Australia explained about horrible bosses:

“Without workers in the building, these managers endure weeks without chairing meetings or diligently sneaking along halls in a courageous attempt to expose workers playing solitaire on their computers. Where is the empathy for them, I ask?”

Smart aleck remarks aside, do Ellison’s employees really have the quality and choice they need?

A restaurant could be just as bad as doughnuts, pizza and tacos.

Maybe your 24-year-old employee wants to eat healthy. What about the vegetarian or the vegan? I, for one, don’t eat red meat. Does Ellison offer vegetarian, vegan, chicken and fish every day?

And what about those prices? In the 19th and early 20th centuries, some companies notoriously paid their employees in scrip, not cash. Scrip was only usable at the company store, which charged outrageous prices. Forcing such employee engagement is never a good thing.

Hopefully Ellison gives his employees reasonable restaurant prices.

Still, if you refuse remote or hybrid work models, offering onsite daycare, food, psychologists, gyms, etc., is the bare minimum. Those work arrangements could benefit company culture. And be the deciding factor in whether you’re a horrible boss.

But I’d still rather put all that money toward employee salaries and my company’s bottom line. That’s a much better ROI than buildings, real estate and infrastructure.

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